I normally get a bit nervous before going to see Dr. Mower. I don't exactly know why - he's an awesome doctor and we couldn't be more blessed to have him. I guess it's because he's a neurologist, and I don't like Raquel needing to have one of those. But, such is life.
Today, I'm feeling a bit different. I am looking forward to the appointment and hoping to get some answers. Although I continue to notice improvements in Raquel - she's talking more, sleeping better, is much calmer, and playing more functional - these "episodes" are continuing and still very much freaking me out. Mike actually filmed one occasion and I plan on bringing the camera to play it for Dr. Mower in the morning.
Since Mike is home a bit more these days, he's been observing the episodes and quite honestly, having a very difficult time with it all. He's very emotional when it comes to his girls, especially the one that can't tell him what's wrong so he can try to fix it. Last night, after a long drive home with Raquel from his parent's house, he got upset, stressed, concerned, and then just mad about the situation. He said that we've turned her in to a prescription drug baby, and that was hard to hear - especially considering that I'm the one administering the meds, or giving Gabby the stuff to give to her.
So I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I need to find out what is going on and what our options are because what is happening is clearly not working as it should be. We tried to wean her off the Depakote and she ended up in ER. Now she's back on it, with full doses in her, and I'm still not liking it what I'm seeing. She's not getting therapy, she had to be pulled from school. This is all getting very old. It's a good thing she is so cute. Every time I think I'm going to go off the deep end because of it all, she gives me a smile that melts my heart - and that gives me the strength to keep going. I love you, Raquel!!
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