Back To School?

Deciding what to do about Raquel's school situation has been a real challenge for me over the summer. I've gone back and forth in my head time and again. It's been one of those things that you wake up at 2am thinking about and can't go back to sleep.

Last week, after having a heartfelt conversation with Gabby about Raquel, I have finally come to a decision: she will not be attending the orthopedic class at Rock Springs - the only class that our school district seems to feel is available to her. And Gabby was definitely the deciding factor. She has such a special bond with her sister and although they don't have a "typical" sister-sister relationship because of Raquel's current limitations, they have a very real connection with each other and I love watching them interact - even when fighting. I keep reminding Gabby about how paybacks work, and Raquel continues to grow and is quickly approaching Gabby's height so I know what's coming...

I was told by my original behavior therapist, Elizabeth, very early on in this journey, that Gabby's perception of things is a lot more realistic to what Raquel's perception is vs. what I think it is. I have never forgotten that and it was one of the greatest pieces of advice I have been given throughout all of this. Whenever Gabby tells me what she thinks her sister needs, wants, or is thinking, I don't take it lightly.

The other day, I sat Gabby down in a pretty adult manner, and told her that I needed her help deciding what to do with Raquel and her school. I presented the options (the ortho class, finding a daycare, keeping her home, etc.) and asked for her input. She listened intently and became very serious, really understanding the importance of this. When I asked her what she thought I should do, she said, "How about this, Mom? Let's keep her out until January when she turns 4." I wasn't expecting that response at all and didn't know where it was coming from, so I asked her to continue. And a lot of really cool stuff came out that I wasn't thinking about. She said that she can't go back to the ortho class, that not only does the neurologist not recommend it, but she reminded me that since she has been out of school over the course of the summer, Raquel no longer makes the moaning sounds that she picked up from the other kids, and she no longer does certain behaviors that were, again, picked up from the class. That's a very valid point. I always looked at the cup as being half full with the sounds/behaviors and was glad that she had the ability to "model" after other kids. But Gabby is 100% correct - she no longer does these things, and now I wonder what she WOULD be doing if she was around typically developing children.

Gabby also told me that we keep noticing more and more improvements with her being on the medication, that she's not going to have a consistent school schedule anyways because the holidays are coming up (YIKES!) and she'll have a lot of time off, and it will be January very soon. She said that I need to keep her on the medication, get speech therapy going as soon as possible because Dr. Mower says that is really important right now, and then see what he says when we see him again in early January. Gabby thinks that if we continue to work hard with Raquel, she will be ready for a more suitable program when she turns 4.

That was a lot to take in from a 7-year old, but she's right. She doesn't belong in that class and it's not fair to her to put her there just because I want her around other kids, or because I need a break. I need to be selective about the kids she's around for her own benefit. I need to think about what is best for Raquel instead of what is best for everyone else.

So, I've decided that she won't start on Monday as planned. And I'm getting closer to starting up therapy. Since her pediatrician wouldn't sign the authorization form and it had to come from a specialist, her file needs to be re-evaluated by Rady Children's to verify services are in need. More and more paperwork, but I'm getting pretty good at staying on top of it and getting my calls returned. Karin has already agreed to resume occupational therapy and since she has treated Raquel before, does not need to do any evaluations, so once I get the go-ahead from my insurance company, it should be a pretty easy process. My goal for next week is finding a speech therapist that specializes in preschool children and getting the process going - PERIOD. A lot of wasted time this summer that I wasn't planning on, but that's how it goes. I'm just doing the best I can and taking it one day at a time, and not looking back with regrets.