Feeling Pretty Beat Up

I was really looking forward to January and being able to get our family life back to somewhat normal. With both girls in school, I would be able get away from the in-home therapy and get back to work. If I had any idea that I would be just thrown into a school district system with such lack of regard, I would have been searching for other options from the very beginning.

I completely understand that the district needs to do their part and has their procedures. I also completely understand that they deal with a lot of parents who turn to them for guidance as to their child and obviously go with what the district first recommends. I think this is ultimately the goal for the district. I mean, after all, it's "their" district - their assessments, their rules, their regulations. Right?

Wrong. Not when you are dealing with a parent like me who is so actively involved in all aspects of her therapy. I've read books, googled my head off, asked hundreds of questions to all of her therapists, doctors, regional people, etc. I think I've missed 3 ABA sessions over the course of that 6 month program. Not bad, especially when you consider there were around 120 sessions at 2 hours a pop. I never once missed a speech session - and Mary treated Raquel once a week for 11 months.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not out for any Mother of the Year awards. I'm just trying to make a point. I am not one of those parents who left the room when a therapist showed up for a session to have a much needed break from it all. I was one that plopped myself on the floor and dove right in, took the best mental notes so I could stay consistent and show my family how to stay consistent. And I know my daughter best.

It is written in the IEP notes with the district that: "Parent is concerned about Raquel's sensory needs." I stressed to them that I was worried she would get hurt - not a falling down getting hurt, but being pushed out of her zone, escalating, and then the self-injuring behaviors would start and they would not be prepared to handle that. At that point, my Educational Consultant Bev, suggested that the district implement a Behavior Support Plan, which I, along with the ABA Team, totally agreed with. The district completely dismissed this, stating that she's not going to be pushed into doing things she doesn't want to, etc. etc. and stated in the notes: "The parent has requested that the IEP team meet again to review her progress in the current program. During this meeting, in conjunction with reviewing her progress, the IEP team will discuss Raquel's sensory needs and whether or not the current goals are sufficient to address these needs or if she requires a Behavior Support Plan."

Why am I ranting today? Because today was Raquel's first day of school. It started out really well. Me and Gabby watched, with tears in our eyes, her holding her new teacher's hand and walking with the class to the classroom. I then took Gabby to school and, was literally two minutes away from work, where I had waiting client, when Raquel's school called and said I had to go pick her up - after her only being there for 1 1/2 hours.

When I arrived, Raquel was on a padded mat with some pillows and the teacher was trying to hold her down to prevent her from injuring herself. Knowing that restraining her will work in the opposite - because, I know my daughter - I took her and did the other things I've been taught to do. Once she was able to calm somewhat, the teacher asked me, and I quote, "Where is your daughter's Behavior Support Plan?" It was at that point that I burst into tears.

And as crappy as all of this has been for me, let's not forget the little one who's outcome is at stake. How unfair to do this to a child - to send her into a classroom setting without them knowing what her potential behaviors are and how to deal with them. This was the first time the teacher has ever met Raquel. She briefly read the IEP, but besides that, has no clue what works and what doesn't. It sounds like it's not fair to the teachers, either, and I could really feel her frustration with it all when we left. She stressed to me that she doesn't want me thinking Raquel isn't suitable for her class. She just doesn't want her to get hurt on her watch. Do you blame her?

I also felt really bad for the other kids. What a hard thing it must have been for some of them to see. It's not fair to them either. This is supposed to be about the kids and getting them the best help available to provide positive outcomes - not just agreeing to district policies and procedures.

So, basically I'm back to square one. Part of me thinks I should just keep her home utilizing my respite care until after her Neurological tests are complete in late February and we can figure out what is really going on. Another part thinks I should look into more of a home daycare setting, that maybe she's just too young for a school transition right now. One thing I do know is that she needs to continue her therapy, even if I need to bring her somewhere to have it done, so I'll be looking into that option as well.

So exhausting...

Starting School

After observing the class yesterday morning, I decided to enroll Raquel. She'll be going 5 days per week, from 8am - 11am. She will be the fourth girl and there are two boys, all with ranging abililty levels. The student/teacher ratio is 3:1. The teacher seems great, and was really excited to hear that Raquel is already using the PECS Program, as this is something she is implementing with the class.

I'm hopeful that I've made the right decision, but other options are still available to me if this wasn't the best choice, and a review meeting is already planned for the first of March.

Monday, Raquel has her blood work done at Rady Children's Hospital - yes, I went to the pediatrician to do this yesterday, but let's just say that didn't go so well and it needs to be handled at Children's instead of the hospital next door to her pediatrician...

I was also unable to get anything done except for a referral to the allergist, which was really a bummer because the school will be feeding her breakfast and needs confirmation that she is required to be on the GFCF Diet in order for them to substitute the food. They don't want me bringing my own stuff because they want all of the kids to eat the same thing, which I can completely understand. Raquel sees the allergist on March 5th. From what I have been told, it's a pretty extensive test with a really fantastic doctor, and I will know all of her food sensitivites when we leave his office. The appointment will take between 2 - 2 1/2 hours. Until then, I'll feed Raqi breakfast - she always eats before 8:30am anyway - and I'll put similar looking food items in her backback in order to fake the other kids out. I'm really good at that these days. Raquel never questions that she's eating something different than we are!

Neurology Appointment Scheduled

Today Raquel's Neurology evaluation was scheduled for Wednesday, February 25th at 11:00am. This will be done at Rady Children's Hospital. I am very happy that we were able to get in next month, since the referral was only done a couple weeks ago and the referring doctor prepared me for a long waiting period. I'm kind of nervous about the exam and how intrusive the tests may be, but since it is being done at Children's, I'm confident we will be in great hands. Tomorrow we see Raquel's primary pediatrician to have all of her blood screenings done, as well as the allergy test.

And guess what else I get to do tomorrow? Observe another class. Apparently, if you hold your ground, the district will make other options available to you. This particular class is at the same school, but is considered a "non-categorical" class and has developmentally delayed kids of different levels. And it's a morning class. I'm not saying I'm for sure going this route, but it definitely deserves to be looked at and, from what I hear, sounds more like the class I had pictured for Raquel. Wish me luck!

Regaining Some Normalcy

I hadn't realized how out of whack our lives have been during this past year, but something hit me Sunday morning. I was cleaning up around the house and noticed the pink Hello Kitty tent in our living room that we would often put Raquel in during ABA sessions when she was escalating. I hadn't realized how much room that thing took up, and just wanted it out of there. I also wanted her listening to music in our bedroom to stop. I moved both the tent and the radio into Raquel's room, so now she can listen to music, play with toys, calm herself in her tent, on her own and in her own room. It also allows her to have some privacy, which she really seems to enjoy. I am very pleased to observe both my girls playing quietly in their own rooms.

And that's when I realized how desperate I am to get the household back to "normal" - however that is defined for us now.

Monday was the first time in over 6 months that Raquel didn't have a 9am therapy session. It was very weird. And it actually felt good. I hadn't realized how rushed I've been - taking Gabby to school and hurrying home, picking her up early to accommodate a session, fitting in Raquel's nap, etc. etc. No wonder I thought I was completely losing my mind. I was!

Although there is still uncertaintly about what direction we are going in regarding Raquel's school, today was the first day in a very, very long time that I actually had a sense of relief. I wasn't constantly looking at the clock, and when Raquel didn't want to nap at her usual time, it wasn't a big deal. The "therapy without a nap" issue no longer exists. And I think that is a good thing.

I've mentioned before how nervous I was about not having my ABA Team with me during this transition. Now I understand why. They've given me some amazing tools to use, but now it's up to me to figure out how to balance everything. And I'm determined to get things back to normal as quickly as possible.

Overwhelmed

I had a support team less than a week ago, and their absence has definitely been felt. I knew they'd be gone one day and that I'd be dealing with Raquel on my own. Dealing with her has been the easy part, and that was what I was worried about the most - not having their input with behaviors. They'd be proud of me. Raquel has become more and more predictable, which makes her easier to read, and therefore, behaviors aren't really happening because I can redirect her before a meltdown occurs. As of last week, that is. With Raquel, it comes down to her stubborn personality and it's all subject to change at any given time.

The overwhelming comes in to play because I don't know what to do with her regarding school. I know she needs to be in school and therapy must go on, it's just how I want to go about doing it and finding the right fit for Raquel. Not only does the afternoon class not work for me time wise - I would need to find someone to watch her while I go in the office in the mornings - I honestly can say that I truly feel in my heart that this is not the most appropriate class for her and that the district should be able to offer me a couple choices that aren't so extreme.

Then, if I'm going to have to pay for a daycare of some sort to watch her in the morning, why not just make this her "school" and have her new therapists go there for therapy (if needed), or continue in-home sessions? She'd more than likely get much better socialization at a typical daycare than the school district class.

I keep going back and forth in my head, over and over again. Once I think I've figured it out, the doubting starts and I'm back to square one.

The main issue right now is that we don't want a lapse in therapy for Raquel. Tuesday I will call the district to see if I can take her to school for the therapy sessions only. Actually, I'll call my Educational Consultant first to see if that is an option, and then I'll call the district. I do know that they are required to provide for her in some capacity now that she has transitioned.

The most frustrating part is that I have invested so much time and energy this year to Raquel's therapy. Obviously, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. But to come from a year based on such structure and routine to what I'm faced with now, is really disappointing. I, unrealistically, expected everything to just fall into place. It's unfair that the district only gives you one week to transition. A week is not enough time, puts way too much pressure on you, and you constantly feel rushed. And I don't think that is how anyone wants to start a new situation, especially when kids are involved.

Happy Birthday - But Tough Good-Byes

My little Angel turned the big three this morning. What started out as a happy, playful morning unwrapping a few presents, soon turned into a sad reality: her end of in-home daily therapy.

The entire ABA Team was here for her final session this morning. Besides them attempting a few trials at PECS, it wasn't a session at all. Raquel listened to her music and opened presents from the team. We went through "the box" and set aside items that were ours (or are ours now!), and those that will be going to another family. Janine also put together a larger PECS book for her. Being larger allows her to have more picture items, plus I'll be able to add to it as more and more toys, books, etc. become preferred objects. Mike also stopped by for a little while to thank each of them and to say his good-byes.

We spent a good portion of our time talking about last week's IEP and Psychological Evaluation, and what my plans were. Right now they are to have Raquel's bloodwork done this week and to confirm that I am on the waiting list for the Neurologist. As far as the school goes, I'm still questionable on what direction to go in. I told the district that I was doing medical stuff this week and they have her pencilled in to start the following week - if I decide to go that route.

We mostly took goodbye pictures - this being one of my favorites. Notice Jennifer's Charger jersey. Even after losing a playoff game yesterday, she's still a big fan. :-)

Thanks for everything, ABA Team. You are an awesome group and we have been blessed to have you in our lives. And thanks for giving me a 6-year old therapist. I'm sure staying consistent won't ever be an issue.

Once that depressing good-bye was over, I still had one more left: Mary for Speech. Mary has seen Raquel for nearly a year, and we've gotten to know her very well. We haven't seen her for two weeks and Raquel was playing in Gabby's room when she pulled up and got a huge smile on her face when she saw who it was.

Mary came with all of her bags today - not wanting to hold anything back from Raquel on her last day - including the toys that would automatically go in her mouth.

She did her usual session with Raquel, who was unfortunately very quiet throughout. I was disappointed, but Mary was happy to hear about all of the new words and phrases she has been consistently using.

They took turns on the magna-doodle Mary bought for her birthday ...

... and played with and fed the bunny one last time ...

And then it was time for another good-bye. Thank you, Mary. It has been such a wonderful experience working with you. We appreciate all that you have done for Raquel, and for all that you have taught me to do in working with her. You will be very missed!

Happy Birthday, Raquel! We love you!

On Second Thought...

I really hoped that I would wake up feeling better about everything, but I didn't. In fact, I think I felt worse. But after a conversation this morning, things started to take a different turn.

Even though Raquel's last ABA Session is on Monday - her 3rd birthday - her continuing care does not end. It just gets moved to a different company that handles older kids. She is still eligible for all the therapies she has now: behavior, speech, occupational, and physical. And I'm not required to enroll her in the school district. It is suggested, and this preschool is paid for by the state so it is assumed that all parents want to go this route. But I do have the option of putting her into a "typical" daycare setting at my own expense, similar to what she was in prior to the start of therapy, where she could get all of the social interaction she needs, and then continue therapy in-home. Therapy can also be done in the daycare setting for most of them.

I also discovered that if I disagree to the district's assessment of Raquel, which I do, I have the legal right to have Raquel evaluated by a doctor of my choice - at the school district's expense.

Just something else to think about. I am going to speak with Regional on Monday as well as my Educational Consultant to see what all of my options are. I really need to find what is the best fit for Raquel. If it's the school district, that's fine. But it was apparent today that I clearly haven't explored all of my options yet, and these definitely deserve to be explored before settling with what the school district is suggesting.

With all of that said, Raquel will not be transitioning to the school district system on Tuesday as I previously had planned. I need to get some answers first.

IEP & Psychological Evaluations Complete

What a long, draining day today.

First, we had Raquel's IEP this morning. I've got to say that the school district really paints a very bad picture of Raquel based on their assessment report. If they weren't able to personally observe her doing something, she was recorded as not being able to do it. For instance, for the Applied Physical Education, it states that she can't throw, jump, stand on her tiptoes, or walk backwards. WHAT??!! Throwing is a behavior they score her on in the ABA sessions! And she does the other things as well. It was very frustrating listening to their evaluations and I really think they need to take in to consideration that we are dealing with a HUMAN BEING and not just STATISTICS based on observations they have or have not been able to make.

But, that's just me.

The district definitely recommended the cognitive delayed class. It consists of two boys and two girls (Raquel being one of them), and it was the second class we were able to observe yesterday. She'll be starting there on Tuesday, going from 11:30am - 2:30pm. We will be having a review meeting before March to discuss her program and see if any changes need to be made. She'll have Coach Tim for physical therapy (applied physical education) and Leigh will be doing her occupational. I have no idea who will be doing the speech.

After that truly uplifting experience, it was time to head to Regional for her second psychological evaluation. As soon as we got there, Raquel started tantruming and the doctor asked if we wanted to reschedule. Um, NO WAY. Mike took her outside, fed her some applesauce, and pretty soon she was able to come back in, although was very uncooperative with the doctor. She was able to observe Raquel playing with Gabby and Mike, as well as watch Cari do a few activities with her. And, of course, she asked me tons of questions.

The end result? No Autism diagnosis. The doctor said that she has cognitive delays and sensory processing issues. She also was really nice about it, stating that early intervention is the key and that by the time Raquel turns five, she thought the sensory and behavior issues would be very mild. She also said that we should feel very optimistic towards her outcome.

I'm just glad it's over. Monday we have our final ABA Session (party, that is - no working!) and last speech session. Then we'll try to piece our lives back together, one step at a time, and pray that Raquel's transition to school will be a positive one.

School Observations

This afternoon I had the opportunity to observe the classrooms - briefly - for both schools and classes available. Janine and Cari were able to come with me to give me not only some much needed moral support, but also provide their input on where they feel Raquel would fit the best.

I was very surprised with how emotional I became. I really thought that I would be checking out a couple options to think about and bring to IEP meeting tomorrow. But as soon as we stepped in to the ABA based classroom - actually, as soon as we approached it - I could feel this lump in my throat and the tears beginning to form. That's when it hit me, that this was my reality, that I was approaching a special education class for my daughter to attend. I've said it before that I have a very real perception of Raquel and her abilities. I don't know what it was today, but something hit me like a ton of bricks, and it really caught me off guard.

The ABA class is very structured - transitioning activities every 15 minutes - and using a lot of visual schedules, which could be very frustrating to Raquel. They have a brand new sensory room that is opening in a couple weeks and looks really great. I'd like to hang out there. Karin would be pleased. :-)

The motor planning class at the second school was a lot different. Raquel would be given more liberty to be "Raquel", since she likes to work on her own terms. It definitely is academic based like the other class and has structure - just not as intense of a structure, if you know what I mean. They also have a really great sensory room. It was actually more like a play room. I'd like to hang out there as well, and possibly nap.

The Program Specialist who went with us to both schools, Pam, could not have been any sweeter or more guinine. She reminded me of Paula Deen from the Food Network, and her "ya'alls" and stuff were beyond hilarious. She definitely was a breath of fresh air. You don't come across people like that on a regular basis, and I'm so happy she'll be part of my new team.

So tomorrow I have the IEP and afterwards the Psychological Evaluation at Regional. Wish me luck, ya'all.

Medical Evaluation Complete

This morning Raquel had her medical evaluation done at Regional. The doctor was very nice and basically asked me a bunch of questions and observed Raquel. She did make the referral for us to see a Neurologist but said that it would probably take a couple months before I could get in. The neurological exam/tests will be done at Children's Hospital. In the meantime, I scheduled an appointment with Raquel's primary doctor for the 23rd. This is when I can have her do the allergy tests as well as give her the suggested lab tests from the doctor we met with today. These lab requests are for: chromosomes, blood amino acids, urine organic acids, as well as a complete metabolic panel. Sounds like good times.

I'm constantly asking Raquel's therapists and doctors what they think is going on with Raquel, so when I had the opportunity at Regional this morning, I couldn't resist but ask her most recent evaluator. The doctor basically said that she didn't feel she was autistic. When I pursued with my questioning, asking what her speculative medical opinion was, she said that she thought Raquel has a genetic or chromosome abnormality or chemical imbalance. How did she come up with that? Based on me having 3 miscarriages prior to Gabby's conception as well as losing a pregnancy at 5 1/2 months due to a genetic defect - Trisomy 18. She said based on that, not to mention that I was over the age of 35 when Raquel was conceived, that she would be leaning towards that type of scenario. But we won't know anything for sure until the neurological tests are complete, so we are starting with the blood screens to rule things out.

So, here we are. I have an almost 3-year old with special needs, who has no diagnosis, who is currently in the ABA Program (for Autism), and is on the gluten-free, casein-free diet. The school district doesn't think she's autistic. The medical pediatrician at Regional thinks she has some kind of "chemical imbalance." I can't imagine what her regular pediatrician, not to mention the Neurologist, are going to throw in to the pot.

Janine gave me some great advice this afternoon when I called her. I mentioned what the doctor had said and Janine told me that I've heard so many conflicting things. She said that I should stop asking people questions and to let the test results speak for themselves. And she's absolutely right. Everytime I'm told something different, it's like a big kick in the stomach and I start questioning the choices I've made this past year. And it's not fair to do that to myself. I've got to accept the fact that I've absolutely done the very best I could based on the information placed before me - at that particular time.

One other note: the IEP has been rescheduled for Friday morning. I will (hopefully) be observing both classes tomorrow afternoon so I can make a decision during the IEP meeting as to her placement and Raquel will still be able to start school according to schedule next Tuesday. Knock on wood.

IEP? What IEP?

This morning, I was very pleased to wake up having a hive-free Raquel. She slept all night long and the hives slowly started to fade last night. Besides a few scratches on her neck and tummy - and perhaps her being a little pale - you never would have known she had such a horrible reaction yesterday. On Wednesday we have her medical evaluation and I am going to ask the pediatrician to refer us to an allergist. I need to find out what things she is sensitive to so I can prevent these from happening in the future.

We had an outing at the mall today in place of her morning ABA session. She did really well - wasn't too happy playing in the "rubber room", but I contribute that mostly to the mall Christmas decorations being taken down at the same time we were there. There was a lot of machine noise and Raquel would cover her ears at times. Once we left the area and went up to the top floor away from the noise, she was walking all over the place until her little legs became jello and I had to put her back in the stroller.

Besides Cari being there, Janine also overlapped - along with a very missed familiar face:



Elizabeth! As many of you remember, she was my initial Behavior Therapist who I was given the most hours with during the start of Raquel's therapy year. She helped me get through some of the really brutal behaviors that were occuring in the beginning, and she's also the one that pushed for Raquel being in the ABA Program. And look at how well she's done. Thanks, Elizabeth! It was great seeing you and we think of you all the time. We hope you can come for her farewell therapy on Monday.

After ending a nice outing at the mall, I came home to find a voicemail from Regional stating that Raquel's IEP had been cancelled. WHAT??!!! Cancelled? How does that happen hours before it's supposed to take place with so many people scheduled to be in attendance? Apparently the District Psychologist had jury duty. Needless to say, I was beyond upset. How can such a critical meeting that was scheduled so far in advance be cancelled on the day it's supposed to take place? Not good - and so unfair to Raquel. Remember, I'm only given one week to visit classes and schools and meet teachers before she is supposed to start the school itself. Today, I used up my weekly respite hours to accommodate the IEP meeting and was unfortunately not able to cancel it because of short notice. So, when the IEP does take place (hopefully this week - right now it looks like possibly Friday), I will need to take Raquel to the meeting. Lorraine said she'd provide childcare for her during the meeting because of the cancellation. Nice, but besides the point.

Since the IEP was cancelled and our therapists' had already set aside the time for it, I asked Janine if they wanted to do an ABA Session. Since this is her last week, I figure the more the better. And Raquel was hilarious. I don't know what got in to her, but she was very happy and playful - and making all of us laugh. Maybe she senses that it's almost over, too.

Not Ready For Food Allergies

Just when you think nothing else can be put on your plate - something is.

Today, Raquel woke up in a great mood and was very happy and playful all day. All day, that is, until our trip to Costco late this morning. We made a quick stop to only get a couple of things and on the way out, Gabby wanted a smoothie. While I was paying for it, Raquel started getting a little irritated and Mike gave her a handful of 100% Vegan and Gluten-Free Blueberry Pomagranate Trail Mix (which is absolutely DELICIOUS, by the way). By the time we got to the car a minute or two later, we noticed that Raquel's eyelids had begun to get very swollen and red blotches were appearing on her face. By the time we got her home, she had a full on breakout of hives all over her body and she could not stop itching. Then the sneezing and runny nose started.

Mike immediately fetched his computer to Google, and started reading off all kinds of horrible things about her going into some terrible shock. I lathered her with hydrocortisone cream to stop the itching and gave her a dose of Benedryl. Right now she's fast asleep and I'm checking on her every few minutes to make sure she's still breathing - just like I used to when my girls were babies. Okay, I still check on them throughout the night - but not nearly as much as in the beginning...

Why hives right now going into one of the biggest weeks where we've got not only the IEP tomorrow, plus medical and psychological exams scheduled in addition to the final week of ABA therapy? I don't know. But the saying goes that you are never given anything more than you can handle. Right now I'm just trying to focus on getting her well and am hoping she wakes up feeling better. I'm not sure she'll be up to ABA in the morning or Speech in the afternoon. We'll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it.

Hello 2009!

When we initially scheduled the IEP, January seemed so far away. But the IEP is this coming Monday. As Jennifer was leaving after her session on New Year's Eve, I realized that we only have two more sessions with Jennifer. And today, Cari scheduled Raquel's final outing at the mall for her next session on Monday morning.

I have been completely stressing out about Raquel starting school. Stressing probably isn't the best word to describe it because I've been pretty much out there mentally for the past several weeks - unable to sleep, forcing myself to down a SlimFast to have some kind of energy - just in that really bad place that I don't like to be in. Why now? Probably because the end is near and I can feel it. And I can really feel the uncertainty of it all. Although it may seem intrusive having the therapists in our home daily, I've become very dependant on them and don't know how I'll be able to effectively handle Raquel's transition without their guidance. And I don't know if I'm prepared to deal with the behavior aspect of what may come once she starts school. I guess that's when I'll really be put to the test.

My main concern with Raquel's school, besides her being placed in the class most beneficial to her needs, is the timing of the class. I had my heart set on the school I pass when I drop Gabby off each morning and invisioned dropping Raquel off first, then Gabby, and then being able to get to work doing outside sales, which I desperately miss. As soon as the district informed me that the class they were recommending is the afternoon one, I went in to panic mode. What about lunch and her GFCF diet? What about her napping - or lack of? What about her sensory needs during the afternoon (which is usually harder then)? How can I juggle two kids in school on opposite sides of town? etc., etc., etc. You know, the stuff you think you aren't that concerned about but then it pops up in your head at 2am and won't go away.

Slowly, my logic and reasoning started coming back. And the little voice in the back of my head was screaming, "What is worrying going to do?" Nothing. And why worry about things you cannot control? You can't - or you'll end up being in that bad place. Instead you take a step and listen.

And a funny thing happened. First, Raquel stopped napping at her regular time and has been consistently napping around 3pm (or directly after her ABA session when in the 2pm-4pm timeslot). She's still going to bed at her usual time and continues sleeping through the night. She's just simply napping later and perhaps for not as long (30 - 45 minutes instead of 1 hour). So, if she does get enrolled in the afternoon class, it apparently won't affect her naptime routine.

And then I met a single mother of two who has been doing respite work for over three years. She is wonderful with Raquel and wants to come watch her part-time during the week. She is available to come mornings or afternoons, depending on Raquel's school schedule. This would allow me to attend work meetings and deal with clients as needed - as well as give me a break.

It just proves that once you stop worrying about things that are out of your control, everything slowly starts to fall in place. I'll be going to Raquel's IEP on Monday afternoon with a much more open mind, and for that I'm truly grateful.