Not Prepared To Go Backwards

I don't know what happened yesterday during Raquel's ABA session with Cari, but it certainly brought back a bunch of unpleasant memories.

She had a wonderful day - was talking up a storm, was happy and laughing pretty much throughout the day. She had an early lunch, a nap, and even a snack before the session. I was looking forward to another sucessful day of therapy.

The first half of the session was business as usual - she was content and scoring very well. But then, the first tantrum in over 2 months occurred. And two more happened shortly after that. Since she hasn't had any for so long, it completely took me (and probably Cari) off guard.

Then, as I was holding her tight to prevent her from hurting herself (or me), all the memories started coming back. Instead of this being a truly horrible experience, it actually allowed me to see firsthand how much we have progressed since the beginning of her therapy - especially the ABA Program. Although Cari recorded these tantrums as being severe, the duration was brief - roughly 5 minutes each time - and the song being a big part of that I'm sure. But I hadn't realized how much of the bad behavior I had blocked from my memory. Of course, the "pillow thing" from her throwing herself back constantly remained, but when I watched Cari doing the squashes in the bean bag, and the deep joint compressions while Raquel screamed at the top of her lungs, so distraught and wanting to escape, I had a huge reality check.

I remembered how in the beginning, her tantrums pretty much were attention seeking towards me, where I would have to leave the room all together until they could get her to calm down. I remembered that half of her sessions in the beginning were spent dealing with the tantrums, and how I had to physically sit on the floor next to her while they conducted their session. She constantly seeked my acknowledgement and approval, so much that she would usually turn her back to them and show me what they were asking for.

I remembered our first Team Meeting, where Mike told everyone that his main issue was her being so physical with me and that she would follow me around room to room crying for my attention. And I remembered the constant walking and driving around. I truly can't believe how far we've come in a few short months.

So what happened during our session to trigger this? We really don't know. Like I said earlier, it started out very typical. Cari had Raquel sitting at the table doing her tasks (they do sitting for 4 minutes now, with 50% of the time being actual "work"). I was in the other room checking my work emails, as I always do during table time, and she just started carrying on. It immediately got more and more intense. Usually I let the therapists deal with the behaviors because that's what they are there for and by me interfering tells her that if she acts this way, she gets my attention. But yesterday I sensed something was a little different and went in the room. Once I saw her face, I just knew.

The only thing we really can say was different during the first and last parts of the session was Gabby being in the room when the tantrum first started. At the start of the session, she was in her room playing. Halfway through it, she came running down the hallway, being very loud, and sat down across from Raquel during the table time. That doesn't seem like it would be enough to cause a tantrum, but if she was having an overly sensory day, that could be all it takes.

Needless to say, I was a bit hesitant about going in to today's therapy. Although Raquel slept fine and woke up in a good mood, I could slowly see a change in her temperament. Little things seemed to aggitate her throughout the day, and she was crying and whining off and on. I cancelled PT (again), and was determined to get her to sleep before Cari's session. Of course this never happened. Raquel was also less vocal today, less playful, and much more aggressive towards me and Gabby. It just wasn't a usual day for her.

When Cari came this afternoon, I warned her that she hadn't had a nap, that she was very cranky, and pretty much - GOOD LUCK! Turns out that Raquel had another great session and is moving on in prompt levels for a few programs! She was very cooperative and happy. Not even close to having a tantrum. Gabby was present throughout the entire session but today Cari made her the "reward helper" so once Raquel performed a task, Gabby could give her a reward toy. I don't know if that could have made a difference or not. We'll have to play around with it next week.

I asked Cari if it was common for kids to regress a bit at times. She said it does happen, but also can be related to many other things - changes in routine, being sick, diet changes, etc. Regardless, I'm not ready to go backwards and refuse to let Raquel do so! Looking forward to a somewhat restful weekend with the hopes of getting her back on track.