Thursday, April 10, 2008

Not the Best of Days

Today was pretty difficult to say the least. Raquel was in rare form behavior wise. The hitting, scratching, hair pulling was pretty much unbearable. If that wasn't enough, she was constantly crying. I kept hearing Elizabeth's voice in my head saying, "Behavior is communication - she's trying to tell you something." but today was really hit or miss with her. The only thing that seemed to help was walking and car rides - and I certainly can't spend all day doing that.

Wendy came at lunch, as she does every Thursday. She is the infant coordinator, the one that does play therapy and tracks her progress. I mentioned to her that I wasn't happy not hearing from the new occupational therapist, and she called the program manager immediately and asked her to get right on it. It's been 3 weeks with no OT, and she wasn't pleased with that. Raquel did really well with Wendy - even whined a bit when she had to go. Wendy is the one that brings the really cool stuff. She was somewhat in agreement with Elizabeth & Mary regarding the autism, however, she said the screening might be a good idea for determining what type of spectrum disorder she may have. She said she'd discuss everything with them towards the end of the month. In the meantime, she is having a vision test done next Thursday. I'm told that it is a very simple procedure - that she'll be sitting on my lap the whole time and they take pictures of her eyes. Right after that, I'll be able to meet with the doctor to see what his findings are.

Another reason Elizabeth is my favorite: She never minds when I call her - and I call her a lot and usually in tears, like this afternoon for instance. She could hear Raquel carrying on in the background, and she kept reminding me that I can do this, that I will get through this, and that I'm a great mom. When I replied, "If I was a great mom, I'd know what she wanted.", she said to me, "No, most mom's would have given up by now. That's why I know you are a great mom." By this she is not implying that I am "Super Mom". What she meant was that I have taken Raquel out of full-time daycare for one month (at their suggestion to accommodate therapy), that I have taken a cut in my salary because I cannot be there full-time, and it would have been much easier to just go back to how things were. That, of course, didn't help with the crying but overall it did help the outcome. After our 30 minute conversation, I was much calmer, much more focused, and able to start trying to piece together what Raquel wanted. I never was able to figure it out. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

2 comments:

Lauren Faiai said...

Your patience in these situations speaks volumes to me and every other mom on the planet. I think that's another thing that places you on a different level in parenting. You are an incredible mom. Thanks for the post.

Anonymous said...

Hey Sweetie…… With your faith and love for each other you and Mike will get through this. It will be difficult and trying, but remember to believe in each other, trust each other and depend on each other. You two are amazingly strong parents with two beautiful girls. Know that we all miss you terribly and we are thinking of you always. We love you.